12 Is My New Fav Number

so in my endeavors to lose weight this summer, i'm pleased to say i'm actually succeeding!
i've lost 12 pounds since i've been home. 12!!
that's friggin awesome!
i'm feeling better
i suppose i'm starting to look better
and i'm happier
for real, if i can keep this up, i'll reach the 30 to 40 pound goal for sure :)

i don't doubt this one bit,

but i'm begging you God, please make it known;

When Your Shoulders Can No Longer Take The Weight Of The World

lonely.
dejected.
angry.
sad.
confused.
discouraged.
lost.
kinda just ready to give up.

lather, rinse, repeat;

Out Of Sight, But Never Out Of Mind

my brother left for japan today and won't be back for a month
it's kinda sad for me because he just got home from school and i feel like i've had no real time with him to catch up and just hang out.. just be stupid like we always are together
tonight, my one prayer request is that he gets there safely
it's hour 9 of his 13 hour flight now.. hard times for real
but i just want him and his team to get there safe 
and i also pray that the mission work they do through music ministry this summer will reach the people of japan in a way that they most desperately need
finally, i pray that he'll come home to us soon, and that me and my siblings can start to rebuild our friendships with each other to what they used to be
saying bye to my family over and over now that we're all growing up is getting harder and harder each time
i guess i'm just realizing how fast life is progressing
it used to be this leisurely stroll in the park
now it's this friggin bullet train that does seem to stop for anything
and i don't really know how to adapt to all these changes that seem to be coming faster and faster
all i know is that God has a plan for us
and i'll be counting down the days till june 8 when i can finally be with my whole family again
there's nothing i hate more than being away from the people i love the most
especially my siblings, my very best friends; 

but i didn't even realize that i actually might care a little bit
that awkward moment when jokes become for real;

Bleh.

FRUSTRATION!

pretty much sums up my life right now;