I'm Next.

Two of the most deserving friends of mine are on the right track. Heading towards probably two other of the most amazing and deserving friends of mine. I couldn't be happier for all four of them.They're amazing and I love them and they deserve to be happy and together.So here's the ish...

There's not one bone in my body that believes that I'm supposed to be alone. I know that God has someone picked out for me and that when it is His will, he will be revealed to me. But it's so incredibly hard to wait when waiting seems to be all that I know.  It's what I've gotten good at.  I wait it out.  I watch my friends and I smile because seeing them happy makes me so happy.  I wait and I smile.  I like people that I know I can't have but I continue caring for them because I know they need me.  I wait, and I smile, and I care. And I'm nothing but pleased with who I am because I know I'm exactly who I was created to be.  I supposed I just need some help in the patience department. 

I've never had an issue with God's plan.  Sure, it doesn't always coincide with mine, but that's okay because I know His is greater.  But what I do have an issue with, what I struggle with endlessly, is God's timing.  I once heard someone say that trusting in God's plan means trusting in His timing.  Well that's the problem.  I know God's plan is what's right and what's perfect and what's best, but His timing? Not so much.. I mean, that's false, because I know His timing is probably the most perfect part of His plan.  But it's also the part I have the biggest issue with.  Funny how that happens right? 

I guess I'm just trying to accept the fact that God is testing me, and waiting for me to be ready.  He's forcing me to put my pride and my agenda aside. I'm trying.  I really am.  It's just hard to keep hearing "you're next", when all I'm seeing, and feeling, is that 'next' isn't for a very long time.